Things I cannot control as your wedding photographer
I’ve been reflecting on the weddings I’ve photographed over the years, and have some thoughts! Wedding days are events, not photoshoots, and it’s important to remind yourself of this when you’re in the midst of the day itself...
- The Weather
It's the one thing most people worry about... but unfortunately it's out of our control! So embrace whatever you’re thrown and dont let bad weather make you sad! The best photos come from couples embracing the elements and having a brilliant time no matter the weather.
- Your colour palette, styling and 'vibe' for the day
These change the way that the photos look immensely. If you want a luxury, high end wedding, a boho wedding, a seaside wedding, a stately home or a DIY marquee wedding… so on and so forth, consider your colours, outfits, venue choice etc.
I cannot ‘make’ your wedding ‘look’ a certain way. For example, I cannot make a luxury wedding look boho, or a seaside wedding look high fashion and editorial. Consider the photographer you choose, and whether their work reflects the kinds of photos you're ultimately looking for.
- The behaviour, mannerisms and interactions of your guests
Have family that don't get along? Or have families that get on like a house on fire? I can only photograph what I see. If people aren’t doing a lot, or are simply sitting around drinking, there will be no candids. If people get too drunk and rowdy, the photos will look this way. If children or animals are not behaving, it is not worth pushing them to be in the photographs. If you’re an introverted bunch, or an extroverted bunch… that’s how your photos will look. You get the idea! Authenticity is key. Games and activities during the drinks reception and props on the dance floor (like masks or light sticks) can really help to break the ice and create genuine interactions for us to photograph.
- How you view yourself
I spend a lot of time getting to know my couples, and trying to understand what is important to them, as well as what they may be feeling worried about. This is why I offer zoom calls, because it’s as much an interview for you as it is for me!
It is my goal to put everyone at ease in front of the camera, to feel safe to be themselves, but this only comes with trust and time. Ultimately I cannot change the way that you look, I can only hope to make you feel confident and maybe even see yourself in a different light!
Here is your reminder to not do the crazy diet before the wedding too - remember you are loved for who you are in this exact moment. Don’t let the world of wedding planning make you feel inadequate or insecure.
- Your vibe and willingness to take photographs on the day
If you want good photos, you have to make time for them, as well as having a willingness to take them in the first place.
Over the years I have experienced many situations where one partner wants couple photographs whilst the other wants to stay and enjoy the reception... For me it is about balance. Photographs should be taken in the least impactful way on your day as is possible, but should also be about running with the moment if and when it presents itself!
For example grabbing a glimpse golden hour if the sun finally glimmers after a rainy day, or going for photos immediately before you lose the light - it’s an adrenaline rush!
Also, if you want to do sparklers, champagne sprays, and fun photos with your wedding party... we can do all of these things if you make time for them.
Being photographed shouldn't feel like a chore, and your photographer isn't there to take over your day, but it does require a flexible approach from all parties to get the best!
- The timeline
I do my best, along with staff and coordinators, not only to help you plan your timeline before the big day, but to help things run on time on the day itself. And I will tell you right now, very often they don’t run 100% on time, and that’s absolutely okay!
As suppliers and coordinators, we know where we can push and bend the timeline if we need to, and we will do so in order to get the best from your day. Whilst sometimes things go awry, we can get usually things right back on track, so don’t stress!
From delaying food a couple of minutes to get ‘the shot’, to pushing a ceremony back 10 minutes if it means it will stop raining so you can have the outdoor ceremony you dreamed of...
A lot of the time these small changes go absolutely unnoticed by our couples and are a reflection of how well we can handle things - unbeknownst to you!
Do not get too hung up on timings yourselves, because you will ultimately end up feeling more stressed and not being present in the moment... which will definitely show in the photos.
Let us handle it!
- The opinions of other people
My golden piece of advice is to have a wedding that feels true to you. Do not listen to what other people want you to do, and release their expectations, as ultimately they can be a huge cause of anxiety.
Also, do not get caught up in having a wedding that would look good in a blog, magazine or instagram. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Don’t spend beyond your means.
Don’t do anything unless you want to.
Some years ago I had a bride texting me panicking about wearing trainers for the wedding, after a comment from a family member about how ‘you can’t do that!’ ...I reminded her that there are no rules, and she went on to confidently rock her Converse!
It can be hard when you’re planning a wedding, but don’t listen to the noise. Have your wedding the way you want.
Want to skip group photos? Go for it. Want to have an outfit change? It’s your day! Don’t want to do anything traditional? I’ll be here supporting you.
A bride once described me as ‘a main hype woman’ and I will stand by that to this day!
Final thoughts...
I have photographed weddings for 12+ years, and have photographed 200 incredible wedding days since 2017.
I can only photograph what I see, and although within reason I will direct the day to get the best out of people and thus your photos… I cannot ‘create’ something that does not exist.
Communication is key to me, as is managing the expectations of my couples.
At the end of the day, a wedding is an event, not a photoshoot, and I can only do my best to represent your day as truthfully as possible.
Lean into the unexpected, let go of expectations and have a wedding day that feels truly ‘you’.
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